Sometimes there are days when a person doesn't need a philosophy, a work schedule or ISO 9001. He needs coffee.

In the morning, 5:57 a.m. The vending machine stood proudly in the corner, blinking a green light of hope. I walked up, as I always do. But something was wrong.

🔒 LOG IN TO ACCESS COFFEE
Login
Password
*Optional: add selfie and access token*.

Franek came in, took a look, and got caffeine withdrawal symptoms right off the bat:
- Zdzichu, this automaton betrayed us.

🧑‍💻 IT gets in on the action

They have arrived. Two youngsters from the SmartFacility™ department. They looked as if they had come to replace the BIOS in the mixer.

- We have introduced a modern authorization system," they explained proudly. - Now coffee only after logging in and verifying authorization.

- What if I don't log in? - Franek asked.
- Then you don't get coffee.
- What if I log in with someone else's login?
- This is a violation of procedures.
- What if I violate your personal space with a 24 flat key? - interjected I.

🔧 Operation: "Black Jackdaw" - sabotage of the login module

Stage 1: External decontamination
I disconnected the power supply. I unscrewed the tailgate. The vending machine inside looked like a combination of an old laptop, a coffee maker and a fiscal printer after the transitions.

Stage 2: Targeting the enemy's brain
Login module - a tile with the words "Wi-Fi Auth Controller - SecureCaff v2.1". It blinked as if it suspected something.

Stage 3: Technical Surgery
- Frank, get a screwdriver, a meter and insulating tape.
- I also have a lard knife. Will it be there?
- He will. He once solved a SCADA failure.

I unplugged the wires: red, blue, and one signed "do not touch anything". Of course, I touched it.

Step 4: Emergency system test
The automaton hissed. He froze. And... he let the coffee go. NO LOGIN.

🚨 Muzzle with the boss

Not half an hour has passed. In the doorway stands He. The manager. The head of the office. The nickname: "Excel with a beard". In hand a folder with reports. On the face - consternation.

- Zdzichu, are you crashing something again?
- No. I challenge.
- What have you guys done to this automaton again!
- I freed him. From digital oppression.
- He cost 12 thousand!
- It is for this money that he should serve coffee and massage feet.

The boss is turning red.
- Zdzichu, you really used to....
- ...I will become a symbol. I'm already in Frank's sticker pack on Messenger.

☕ Caffeine Reactivation

Frank took the first cup. I took the second. The third - for Halina from the laboratory. No one asked. They just knew that Zdzichu had done his job again.

📋 The aftermath?

Formally - none. Informally - a legend.
The boss tried to initiate proceedings, but had to log into the HR system. He was unable to do so.

A note hangs on the vending machine today:

"Zdzichu Approved. Login: zdzichu / Password: revolution."

🔚 Puenta?

Not everything has to be digital. Sometimes you have to take out the module, tap the side and trust in gravity.

And coffee? It tastes better when acquired with honor.